The Power of Community

My family and I have been overwhelmed by the generous outpouring of support received in response to the passing of my brother.
This reminded me of the power of community in helping us navigate major life challenges and changes, both personally and professionally.

These communities can be in-person or virtual and may last for a season or over a longer period of time. 

In thinking about the communities I've had the opportunity to facilitate - past and present - the most successful ones have several elements in common.

Safety
Creating safe space where people can feel free to be themselves is extremely important in community. At times where we are most vulnerable, this level of safety can allow you to explore thoughts, feelings and actions that lead to valuable insights and clarity.

Trust
This goes hand in hand with safety. It relates not only to trusting the individuals that make up the community, but also trusting in the process of giving and receiving that occurs.

Confidentiality
The most powerful communities have an agreement of "Vegas rules". What is shared within the group, stays within the group. Most breaches of confidentiality occur without malicious intent, but yet may still unintentionally cause harm. Self-disclosure is allowed. Don't disclose for others.

Non-judgment
It's rare to find spaces where you are not judged or judging. In a supportive community, judgment is suspended. This doesn't mean that judgmental thoughts may not arise. The judge is typically the most active part of our mind and many of these thoughts occur unconsciously, With practice and awareness, you can begin to notice when these thoughts are present and consciously choose not to act from a place of judgment. This is not faking it either. People can feel the intent that fuels your words and actions.

Shared experiences
There are often events or circumstances that bond us together as a community. Whether it's being born into a family, going through a rigorous training or curriculum together, facing a similar life challenge or collaborating on a project with an important mission, these shared experiences connect us. And this often provides an opportunity to get to know people with different views, backgrounds and other experiences.

Mutual respect
This requires that you bring an open mind and an open heart to each interaction you have within the community. Be respectful when someone is sharing and practice active listening. Listen to understand. Be curious. And give people the benefit of the doubt, when needed. We really are all on the same team (you know, that human race).

Compassion
Another practice that can be invaluable to strengthen a community is compassion for others and also for self. Life can bring us challenges and events that we interpret as painful. It doesn't help to add additional pain in the form of suffering by beating up on ourselves or others. My own coach recently shared a question that she asks herself when she is struggling or life feels hard, "What's the matter, Love?" I thought this was such a beautiful and tender way to talk to yourself. It's how I would show up for my loved ones when they are struggling, 

I feel fortunate that I not only get to facilitate community for others, but also to be a part of powerful communities myself. If you are a leader or teacher, you may also facilitate community and hold space for others, but ask yourself if you have a community that you feel you are a part of where you can also receive and not just give. I'm grateful for my diverse, welcoming and supportive community of family and friends. I strongly believe that it takes a village, not just to raise a child, but to thrive in life. 

Let me know what you would add to the list above. May you always have the support of community.

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