I have spent the past 2 days in Asheville, NC with an amazing group of women (and a few progressive men) learning to build heart-centered businesses. 

Collectively, this group is changing the world, leading businesses based in their passion while creating a life of meaning and purpose.

And yet, a common theme emerged as we celebrated our successes and shared our challenges. We are giving so much, to so many, that we often forget to give to ourselves.  

Wow!  What a powerful realization.

The majority of women, myself included, are giving to and caring for others on a daily basis.  Whether at home or at work and everywhere in between, we seem to be hard-wired to serve and nurture those around us.

But, what about you?  Who takes care of you?

When do we take the time to give to ourselves what we so freely give to others?

We willingly come to someone else's aid but, so often we suffer alone in silence.  And, because we appear to be the “strong one”, “the helper”, people don’t often think that we need help too.

We feel like a child sometimes – we’ve lost our way home and we don’t know how or who to ask for help.

There is power in community and we draw strength from each other and from ourselves.

What is required is courage.  Derived from Latin, the root of the word means heart.  We need to move from our heads (thinking) to our hearts (feeling) to better understand what we really need.

It takes courage to ask for what you really need.  

It takes courage to ask for what you really want.

So where do you start?

Self-compassion.  Be gentle with yourself during times of challenge and chaos. Set an intention to speak kindly to yourself.  Send loving thoughts to yourself, even when your inner critic shows up.  Love is a proven way to silence fear. 

Appreciation.  The body has a miraculous capacity for healing when we get out of the way.  Take a moment to appreciate your body today – your vision, your mobility, your heart beat.  Notice what may be calling for your attention today and honor your body by giving it what it needs.

Breathe.  When stressed we tend to take shallow, quick breaths.  Simply being present with the natural rhythm of your breathing and feeling the breath is enough to activate the relaxation response.  Each day plan to take 5 minutes out of your day to just “breathe”.

Clarity.  When we are unclear about what is important in our lives, we make decisions that are not always in our best interest.  What nurtures you?  What gives rise to happiness?  What allows you to feel a sense of meaning and belonging?  Getting clear on the answers to these questions will help you set priorities based on what you need to regularly be your best self.

So while you’re out changing the world with the wonderful work that you do, remember to take care of you.

Let each breath remind you that you are supported, you are whole, you deserve to be nurtured, and you deserve to be free of suffering.  

How did you find the courage to take care of yourself today?  This week?  

If you found some value in this post, please share with others.  

And if you'd like a little guidance on taking care of you, download the 5 PEACE strategies workbook to reduce stress and find more peace in daily life, http://www.drmichellebailey.com/5-peace-strategies.html.  

As the month of June comes to a close, I realize that almost half the year is gone.  As Michael Altshuler says, "The bad news is TIME flies.  The good news is you're the pilot."

So the question is, how will you navigate the remaining 6 months of the year?

This is a good time to pause and reflect on the first half of the year, and chart your course for the second half.

To live an intentional life, one where you deliberately create the life you envision takes planning.  Making time to realign with your vision for your life provides an opportunity to assess, where you're been, where you are now, and then you get to decide where you are headed.


Why is this important?  Let me share with you the 5-C's:  the key reasons why it's worth your time to pause and reflect now, instead of waiting until the end of the year.


1.  Celebrate.  We often set goals and when we meet them, we're off and running to the next one without taking a moment to celebrate what we've just accomplished (sound familiar?).  Checking in mid-year allows you to honor and acknowledge the successes you have had so far, both big and small.  Make a list of all the things you can think of and then go back and review your calendar to add things to the list you may have forgotten.  It may surprise you how much you've already done.  Cheers!

2.  Clarity.  When life is busy it's sometimes hard to see the forest for the trees.  You may not remember why you're doing what you're doing because you're stuck in the busyness.  Making space and time to step out of the busyness allows you to see things more clearly.  It gives you an aerial view; you get to see the bigger picture and remember your why for your life.  Being clear on your vision for your life makes it so much easier to make decisions by asking, "does this align with my vision or not?"

3.  Core Beliefs.  We all have a set of core beliefs that determine the rules we live by.  Sometimes we're aware of them, sometimes we're not.  Assessing the year at mid-point allows you to ask, "Are the choices I'm making, aligned with the life I say I want?"  In answering this question you get to see where you may be sabotaging your own success and identify hidden limiting beliefs that may be keeping you stuck (to learn how to break through limiting beliefs, see my most popular blog post, http://bit.ly/1jUnDkR).  Then, you get to create new beliefs that serve your current vision for your life and move you towards it.


4.  Consistency.  Developing key habits and activities to support your goals is one of the most important elements in your success formula.  My coach is constantly saying consistent actions bring consistent results.  As you review your year so far, notice whether you have been consistent in taking the steps necessary to move you forward.  This includes actions that help support a healthy you like eating well and regular exercise, in addition to actions that support better life balancing.


5.  Community.  Take stock in your community.  Who supports you?  Who are your encouragers?  I have an accountability partner that helps me stick to taking the actions necessary to move towards my goals.  I also have a coach and belong to a mastermind group.  Yes, my life is busy but having this support system in place has yielded greater returns on my investment of time than I could have ever imagined.  My coach holds the vision that I have for my life and continues to believe in it even when I get discouraged.  She motivates me to get up when I've fallen and to try again.  She gets it because she's been there.  And having a group of like-minded individuals to serve as my personal board of directors keeps me on purpose.  They have been my biggest cheering squad and also call me out when I'm making excuse to play small.


I will be spending this weekend reviewing 2014 and charting my course for the coming 6 months.  I recommend realigning with the vision you have for you life at least twice per year.  I make time for this activity quarterly.  I've learned alot in the process and feel more and more like the leader in my life rather than feeling like life is leading me.

How often do you make time to assess where you are in life?  Leave a comment and let me know below.

BALANCE.  It’s a word that's used often in our culture.  Many of us are constantly seeking it.  But what does it actually mean?  

What would it feel like to live a balanced life?  What would you do if you could free up just one hour each day to focus on yourself?  

It is possible.  Life  feels better when you strategically align the life you live with the person you are becoming.  

Living an authentic life leads to a balanced life.

In September 2012 the New York Times ran a story on straightening out the work-life balance, When the Work-Life Scales Are Unequal.  Many of us work 40-60 hours per week (or more) and that doesn't include the work of parenting or personal and family commitments.  

I've come to believe that “work-life balance” is a myth.  Think about it, is your work really not a part of your life?  It may not feel like it, but the reality is you are living your life (although maybe unconsciously) while you are working.

I used to think that balance was something you found and then life was good from that point on.  Now I know better.  Finding and maintaining balance in your life is a dynamic process…balancing.  

What feels balanced to you in this moment may not feel as balanced one week from now.  The process of balancing requires many subtle, and sometimes not so subtle, shifts in our internal and external world. 

It's like practicing the tree pose in yoga.  It looks like you're perfectly balanced and yet there are many tiny movements and adjustments required to maintain the pose (Unfamiliar with tree pose?  Learn more with this 2 minute video from Yoga Journal).  Take a minute to attempt the pose - you'll see what I mean.

Now I use the term life balancing.  It's not something that will magically happen.  I work daily to create habits and rituals that support balancing my life.  It takes some time and effort but the return on investment is Big (yes, with a capital B).

Here are 3 things that are helping me to move towards feeling a greater sense of balance in daily life:

1.  Set the intention.  When I deliberately focus on cultivating balance in my life, the conditions that allow me to feel more balanced seem to appear.  Energy follows your attention.  When you are paying attention to how much balance you sense in your life, it raises your awareness and helps you to know if you're on track.  Remember as you pay attention to be kind to yourself in the process.  What you learn will help you to know what may need to change to create more balance and harmony in your life.


2.  What is my vision for my life?  Asking this question regularly has helped me clarify what it is I'm wanting out of life.  The focus is not just on what I want to do.  It includes how I want to be; how I want to show up in the world.  Having a clear vision helps me in making decisions that support and move me in the direction of my vision.


3.  Practice making decisions and maintaining healthy boundaries.  Fear of making the wrong decision has paralyzed me at times...leading to no decision and inaction.  This only creates more stress and throws you way out of any sense of balance you may have had. 


I have learned that not making a decision is passive action; you are allowing someone else to determine what happens rather than stepping up to lead your life.  


This lesson has been invaluable.  I now practice making more decisions, giving myself permission to make a mistake knowing that it's an opportunity for learning...not the end of the world.


I also practice saying, "No" more often.  This is simple and yet it feels so hard.  I've recognized there are times when I don't say no because of fear of disappointing others or wanting to avoid conflict.  I now ask myself if taking on a new commitment, responsibility, or task will move me closer to my vision or away from my vision.  This has helped tremendously in being able to clearly say no without feeling guilty about that response.

Life balancing is a key component to thriving.  And, it is possible.

Health and well-being are not simply the absence of disease.  Love, joy, energy and a sense of purpose are some of the ways I define well-being, along with creating enough space in my life to show up and be fully present with the experiences I am having.  This is my motivation for balancing my life.

I'm interested in hearing what gets in your way of balancing your life and what's helped you to overcome those obstacles.  Leave a comment below.