I am back from my first virtual meditation retreat. I’ve attended in person silent meditation retreats in the past, the longest was over a long weekend. So the thought of a 7-day silent meditation retreat was both inviting and terrifying.

I'm still processing the insights gleaned over the past week and will be sharing pearls of wisdom with you over the coming weeks.

For now, I simply wanted to share one of the benefits I gained at the very beginning of the retreat. The teacher asked us to close our eyes and think about our intentions for the retreat.

Now I had thought about what I wanted to accomplish during this week, but to my surprise I heard a voice that answered the question differently. Here’s what came up:

1. Slow Down - Initially I took this to mean slow down physically, but over the course of the week I realized that it was an invitation to practice slowing down mentally and emotionally too. Making space and time to notice my racing thoughts and allowing them to settle like the falling snow in a snow globe. Also creating enough room to allow the rising of emotions and learning how to be with them, especially the uncomfortable ones.

2. Connect With Your Heart - I tend to analyze things a lot (maybe over analyze is more accurate). As a result, I spend more time in my head, thinking about what to do rather than taking some time to connect with my heart. This practice is already helping to inform my decisions as well as how I show up in the world. 

3. Practice Loving Yourself - This one for me is the hardest of all. I’m really good at extending love and compassion to others. Giving it to myself in a genuine, open-hearted way is less familiar. To help me in this area I’ve been noticing how I speak to myself. Not just the actual words used, but also the tone of voice. If I hear harsh tones, I practice softening it. And I’ve been asking myself, “How can I care for myself today?” I am exploring additional ways that I can deepen this practice over time. Stay tuned.

So I have decided to carry these intentions with me from the retreat and bring them into my daily life. I’m looking forward to the lessons I’ll learn and the insights that will come. And I will approach all of these aspirations with an attitude of curiosity and non-judgment.

​Have you been on retreat? Do you use intentions to guide your daily life? I’m curious to hear about your experiences. Share in the comments below or send me a note at Michelle@drmichellebailey.com.

I attended the funeral of a dear friend this weekend. He was only 3 years older than me.

In addition to the loss felt by the sudden and unexpected death of a loved one, there is the stark reminder of impermanence. It got me thinking about what really matters most.

As another week begins, I asked myself how I would answer the question, "what mattered most", at the end of my life.

Here's what came up for me:

Did I welcome everyone and everything?
This speaks to how open-minded and open-hearted I was in my interactions with the people, places and things I came into contact with each day.

How well was I able to suspend judgment and assumptions? How gracefully did I respond to situations that were uninvited in my life?

If I were to give myself a grade, I wouldn't be looking for perfection. Instead, I would focus on my intention for meeting people where they are, extending a little grace, and being willing to learn from my mistakes.

Did I empower those around me?

One thing that is very important to me is to remind others (and myself) that we have choice. In each moment of each day.
In every breath we take...on the inhale and the exhale.

Even when it seems like we don't have any options.

We always can control how we show up and respond to what life brings our way. That is up to us.

We can make decisions from a place of courage and confidence and strength.

The decision to speak up. The decision to let go. The decision to say no.

This is not to say that making those decisions are easy. But, they are yours to make.

Did I love fiercely and compassionately?

Love. It is such a simple word and yet so charged for so many. 

I want to love unconditionally. I want to love hard and with abandon. I want those around me to feel my love.

And maybe, to feel that depth of love for themselves, if only for a few moments.

Love is such a powerful force. In my opinion, one of the most powerful forces that we have control over.

Love yourself. Love other people. Love all sentient beings everywhere.

Did I light the way for others?

One of my regular practices is to see the light in myself and in others. I say this is a practice, because it sometimes feels difficult to see the light in someone that causes harm to others. 

When this is the case, I imagine the person as a young child (as a pediatrician I have a huge soft spot for children). This helps me to become curious about why they may be showing up as they are. It ignites compassion in me which opens my heart and allows me to see them in a different light...to actually see their light.

I want to live my life in such a way that others want to see the light in others. And I want to reflect their own light back to them. Because in all honesty, it's usually much harder for us to see the light in ourselves.

We are so hard on ourselves. And unkind. I think it's a precious gift to help others see their own light and in doing so, it helps us to pull back the veil so that we can see a glimpse of our own light.

So at the end of my life, I want to know for sure that

I was welcoming
I was empowering
I was loving
I was lighting the way

That mine was a life WELL lived.

What matters most to you? I encourage you to spend some time reflecting on this for yourself.

And allow the answers to inform the work that you do every day - not just in your vocation, but in the way you choose to show up to live each day.

I'd love to hear what matters to you. Share in the comments below or drop me a line, Michelle@drmichellebailey.com.

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Busy seasons. I don't know where I first heard this term, but I understood what it meant. Those periods of life you find yourself in where you're really busy at work...at home...and everywhere in between.

Although at times it began to feel unmanageable, you knew that it was temporary. It was just a busy season.

Fast forward and it seems that most people I talk to are living busy lives perpetually, not just for a season.

Constant busyness has become the norm and is often worn as a badge of honor. At other times it feels like this is just the way it is and we have absolutely no control over it.

But in the midst of all that life has to offer, there are times when it is necessary to step out of the chaos and busyness and take a break. I call this the power of pressing pause. I want to share 3 signs with you that may mean it's time to press the pause button.

1. When you're in overwhelm 

I always think of Alice in Wonderland falling down the rabbit hole. That's what it feels when I'm in overwhelm. That I somehow landed there without really knowing what happened.

It may show up as missed deadlines, a sense that there's too much on your plate or an avoidance of people or messages. Essentially it feels like there is way too much to handle and you don't know where (or how) to start.

The first step is recognizing where you are. The next step is hitting the pause button to take the time to download all of the thoughts swirling around in your head and get them down onto paper. You can then decide what you choose to get done now, what can wait and what can be permanently deleted.


2. When you're faced with an important decision 

Struggling with a big decision can be anxiety-provoking. You put so much pressure on yourself to make the right decision. So much so that you may put off making the decision for days, weeks, months or indefinitely. The problem is when you avoid making a decision, it will sometimes be made for you (in essence you're deciding to allow someone else to make it for you).

And on the flip side, if you rush to make a decision, you may be dissatisfied with not just the outcome, but your reasons for making it in the first place.

Pressing pause when you are faced with a big decision can create the space needed to reflect and get clearer on the options available. Making a decision from a place of clarity and confidence is always better than making one out of confusion and desperation.


3. When you're grieving 

Change, no matter how welcome or unwelcome, can bring stress along for the ride. It can signal loss...of the way things were...of opportunities that never come to be...and of expectations that are not met.

Whether it's the unexpected news of the health challenges of a loved one, the injustices in the world reported by the media or a sense of loss of work that was once fulfilling, dealing with loss feels hard.

The grieving process brings with it many emotions that shift and change from moment to moment. In these situations it is valuable to press pause to make room for the emotions to ebb and flow.

To open up to them rather than resist them, fight with them or ignore them.

To breathe into them and be with them for as long as they need to be here.

To ask for help when you're struggling.

To find that small still place of refuge that lies within you and to hear the soft inner voice of wisdom.


In each of the situations above, pressing pause also allows for discernment. Time and space to figure out what you have control over and what you don't. Breathing room to ask yourself what you need most in this moment and to listen for the answers. A reprieve to choose how you can honor and meet your own needs (prioritizing self-care, asking for help).

The length of your pause is not as important as the courageous act of acknowledging that you need one and taking action to press the button. There is so much power in the pause. And when used strategically, it can serve to support you on your journey.

So what is your sign that tells you it's time to press pause? Share it with me in the comments below.
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