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12/27/2018 0 Comments

End of Year Ritual:  3 Simple Steps for Sustained Success in the New Year

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It's hard to believe that another year is about to come to an end.  Where does the time go?

In past years, I've practiced a variety of end of year rituals that include creating a vision board, choosing a word of the year, and setting traditional resolutions, just to name a few.

While each practice provided some value, none of them seemed to provide the consistency of habits I needed to stay on track with my goals throughout the year.  

If you are leading a busy life, you know how easy it is to have your best-laid plans derailed by unexpected life events and increasing personal and professional responsibilities.

This year, I decided to take a new approach and created a simple 3-step process to set myself up for sustained success.

  • Step 1:  Take stock of the current year.  Pause and reflect on the joys and challenges experienced during your year in review.  What were the highlights of the year?  What milestones were met?  What accomplishments are you most proud of?  So often we focus on where we're falling short or we continue to raise the bar and only note that we haven't yet reached it, failing to see how far we've come in this moment.  So stop to celebrate what you've achieved this year and identify what lessons you've learned from your challenges that you can take into the new year.
 
  • Step 2:  Identify potential stumbling blocks.  In reviewing the current year, you are likely to find patterns emerge that may be responsible for thwarting your best efforts when it comes to accomplishing your goals.  On my review, I noticed several themes for these patterns including lack of consistent action and follow-through in important areas of my life like exercising regularly and eating healthy meals.  Upon further reflection, I realized that I was holding beliefs that were sabotaging my success.  A common belief was that I don't have enough time to exercise, cook healthy meals, etc.  Another was believing that my best years of fitness/a fit body were behind me.  Recognizing these beliefs now allows me to decide if they are true for me, and if not, I now have the opportunity to change them.    What patterns and beliefs may be holding you back?  Make a list and then ask yourself if they're true and if they are serving you to get where you want to be.
 
  • Step 3:  Reverse engineer your success.  The second habit in Franklin Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, is "Begin with the end in mind."  When you know where you want to go, it's a lot easier to figure out how to get there from where you are.  What's your vision for the coming year?  Imagine yourself celebrating the fact that you are where you want to be in your life one year from now.  What does your life look like?  What does it feel like?  What do you need to let go of that may hold you back?  What do you need to support you in getting to where you want to be?  Once you're clear on the answers to these questions, you can begin to outline a strategy to move you from where you are to where you want to be.  Create 1-3 goals that will stretch you a bit outside of your comfort zone, but still feel doable.  Break each goal down into quarterly goals.  Then take each quarterly goal and create a monthly goal.  This will then inform your weekly and daily goals.

Remember to set up a simple system (not overly complicated or time-consuming) to review your progress at least weekly.  This will help you to see your progress, identify where you may be off-track and adjust your plan accordingly.  Find support and accountability to ensure your success.  Tell a friend or family member, find a trusted advisor, coach or mentor to help you make forward progress and overcome unexpected obstacles.

My outcome from this process is to be consistent, follow through, and keep it simple as it relates to my health and fitness goals.  These 7 words will serve as a daily mantra to keep me on track this year.  

If you use the end of ritual outlined above, let me know how it goes for you by sharing in the comments below.  


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6/3/2017 0 Comments

To Unplug or Not to Unplug - Which side are you on?

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Recently, I came across an old audio training from my coach on "busy-ness".  

Most of the women I know live in a perpetual state of busyness, taking care of tasks and managing home, work and everything in between.


Somehow we have come to equate busy-ness with productivity.  We are constantly "doing" and leave very little time for "being".  

And when we do allow ourselves a bit of time to rest and relax it's not without a heaping dose of guilt as we think about all of the things we should be doing.

As I listened to the training, she mentioned the term "workcation".  

She went on to define this term as the insidious tendency to avoid unplugging from work by checking email and responding to messages while out of the office on vacation. 

I remembered how this used to be a common habit for me to open up the laptop or smart phone and check email in the evenings after dinner while finishing patient charts...and on the weekends...and at my son's soccer game.  How else could you possibly keep up with everything that needs to get done?  

And although it might be nice to take a break from email, the thought of the avalanche that would occur on returning to work made it seem like an impossibility. 

At the time, it made me wonder how common this phenomenon really was.  That summer, I posted a question on Facebook to see how many people check email on vacation, especially those of us who work in medicine.  The vast majority of professionals reported that they check and respond to email on vacation.

This had been my habit too up until 2013.  That was the year I attended my first silent meditation retreat.  It required completely disconnecting from our outer focus on the external world to allow time and space to tune in to our inner world - the world of thoughts and emotions.  

There was no cell phone, tablets, or TVs.  No reading or writing either.  

I was terrified.  

For the first 24 hours I worried about how many emails were being deposited into my inbox.  I noticed how much I wanted things to be different than the way they were - it's too cold, too wet, too much sitting, bland food - there was nothing to distract me from being with...well, me.  I hadn't allowed myself much time to simply be with myself.

But a funny thing happened around the third day.  I realized that I am sometimes busy and plugged in...even when I don't need to be...to avoid that inner world of swirling thoughts and uncomfortable feelings on a deep soul level.  

The reality that my relationship was in trouble.  The denial that my son's poor grades were not from a lack of effort, but rather from untreated anxiety and depression.  And the acknowledgment of the sinking feeling I had that I was slowly killing myself by putting everyone's needs ahead of my own...a convenient excuse to not take care of myself.

It was a very tough, emotional weekend.  And it was exactly the first step I needed to take to wake up to my life.  The life that was right here now.  Not the way it used to be.  And not the way I wish it was.  The awareness I gained during that extended weekend was invaluable.  Being in a community of diverse women, in a safe environment, with a skilled facilitator allowed me to get crystal clear on what I didn't want, by really appreciating what wasn't working for me.  

It takes courage to be in touch with the degree to which your inner world (your heart's desires, what matters most) is aligned with your external world (if family is most important, how much quality time do you make to spend with them?).

It can be painful to realize that work has taken over your life.  

And yet there is freedom in remembering that you have a choice about how to live your life.

Now, I make it an annual practice to unplug by attending a silent meditation retreat.  But, you don't have to jump in the deep end of the pool all at once.  Dip your toe in the water by exploring one or more of the following practices:

  • Set a nightly cut off time for email, social media, and charting.
  • Disconnect from all electronics for 1 hour on a non-work day.
  • Make your bedroom a "tech-free" zone.
  • Turn off notifications (apps and audio) on your phone, tablet and computer. 
  • Schedule "email hours" or out of office "charting hours" when at home.
  • Adopt a no phone policy during dinners at home and when out with family and friends (when not on call).
  • Find simple ways to allow more silence in your life - turn off the sound system in the car on your commute, sit outside in nature, rise 5 minutes earlier than the rest of your household and sit in a quiet space
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So with summer fast approaching, will you give yourself permission to unplug and disconnect on vacation?  What about in daily life?  I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Please leave a comment below and let me know if you give unplugging a thumbs up or thumbs down and whether you explored one of the suggestions above or one of your own creation.


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12/30/2014 0 Comments

An End of Year Ritual to Help You Thrive in 2015

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It's hard to believe that another year is coming to a close.  

Before stepping fully into the new year, it's helpful to pause to take a look back over the current year and look ahead to the coming year.

So this year, I'm starting a new ritual:  taking the last 2 days of this year and the first 2 days of next year to perform a "soft reset" - a kind of master reboot to restore life balance, recharge my energy, and realign with what matters most.

Starting this morning, I am prioritizing my own self-care - listening to my body for what it needs - nourishing my mind - body - and spirit.  Here is the process I've created for my new end of year ritual: 

  1. Celebrate and appreciate your accomplishments:  the year can really fly by and it's easy to lose track of all that happened.  Ask yourself the question, "What did I do well?"  Making a list can show you just how much you achieved.  Having a hard time thinking of anything?  Go back through your calendar if you need a few reminders.  Take time to really appreciate what you accomplished.
  2. Acknowledge your strengths and areas of growth:  so often we focus on the ways in which we fall short without attention to our innate gifts and how we might leverage them.   There is value in both identifying our natural talents that lead to a state of flow - time flies by and we are fully living our why - and giving ourselves credit when we stretch just beyond our comfort zone. 
  3. Assess the impact of your work in the world:  now before you say, what kind of impact could I have on the world, think about the ways in which you make a difference in your family, within your friendship circle, at your job, in your community, etc.  As Mother Teresa said, "not all of us can do great things.  But we can do small things with great love."
  4. Capture your lessons learned:  the moments that cause us the greatest pain are often filled with valuable life lessons.  These challenging times tend to be opportunities for growth, if we can see them for what they are.  Positively re-framing these difficult situations can stimulate the development of new skills that will serve you well as you continue on your life's journey.
  5. Set your intention for the new year:  what do I want to create in the world in the new year?  This is the first question to ask to begin to plant the seeds for what you'd like to manifest.  One resource to help set powerful intentions is an article written by Dr. Deepak Chopra, author of The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success (a great read by the way).  To learn more about the process of setting intentions, check out the article,  http://bit.ly/1wohUzf. 
  6. Decide on your theme for the year:  A few years ago, my coach introduced me to the concept of the word of the year.  Instead of setting resolutions that are generally forgotten by the end of January, this word serves as a central theme to guide your decisions as you move through the year.  Be advised that you may find an increased number of opportunities that seem to be the opposite of what you've asked for.  Remember that these are opportunities to practice.  Last year my word was "space".  I wanted to create more of it in my life - in my schedule, in my mind, and in my physical environment.  It turned out to be one of the busiest years ever, emphasizing how important space really was to me and giving me lots of practice of creating new habits to manifest the space I desired.
  7. Create your vision end of year 2015:  Yes, I did mean to write 2015 - that's not a typo.  Fast forward to this time next year.  2015 is drawing to a close and you're reflecting on the year you've had.  What do you see?  Spending some time visualizing your accomplishments can help you gain greater clarity as you enter the new year.  Your vision is your core purpose.  It's the way in which you can uniquely change the world...or at least the corner of the garden you've been charged with tending.  I suggest letting your heart lead this process rather than your head.  Don't over-think it.  Create space to simply sit with the question and see what naturally arises.  


So this is my plan and yet I'm allowing for lots of flexibility, knowing that things don't always go according to plan.  Be gentle with yourself and honor where you are, wherever that happens to be in the moment.  What I'm hoping to gain from this process is a greater recognition and acknowledgement of my personal growth, the discovery of key insights that will serve me in now and in the future, and using the wisdom gleaned from this process to inform my actions in the coming year.

How about you?  Do you have a ritual that you use to close out or start a new year?  I'd love to hear about.  Please share in the comments below.



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8/15/2014 0 Comments

3 Quick Tips for Recharging Your Batteries

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"Low Battery"
10% of battery remaining


How many times have you seen this message pop up on your smart phone or tablet?  

This battery alert is all too familiar for most of us who are plugged in non-stop, frustrated when our devices threaten to disconnect us from the world.

But, do you recognize the warning from your body that notifies you that your batteries are getting low?

Recently, I found that I'd misplaced one of my chargers.  The result:  using one charger to attempt to maintain 2 devices.  I didn't allow one device to fully charge before disconnecting it from its power source but still expected it to keep on working for long periods of time.

The realization dawned on me that we often do the same thing.  We don't always pay attention to how much charge we have and it's not until the alert goes off (or worse yet the device dies altogether) that we realize we need to plug in.

So, it's got me thinking about how consistently I plug into my Source to keep my battery fully charged.  As I develop a system to put into place to minimize the frequency of draining my battery completely, here is what I am considering to avoid hitting zero:

  1. Identify what drains your energy and eliminate it.  Things like incomplete tasks or projects, unanswered email and voicemail messages as well as unresolved situations and conflict, all act to drain you of precious energy.  Make a list of all the energy drains that come to mind and create an action plan to plug the leaks until you can make permanent repairs.
  2. Make time for rest and sleep.  Chronic sleep deprivation is a widespread problem in the U.S. today.  This is the time needed for your body to restore and support your physical and emotional health.  Remember both quantity (how much) and quality (how well) of sleep are important.  Set a cut-off time for work, develop a bedtime routine, and minimize distractions that may interrupt your sleep.
  3. Engage in activities that naturally recharge your batteries.  Pay attention to the times when you feel like you are in flow with life.  Generally time will seem to fly by and you're fully present with what is happening within and around you.  For me, this includes being in nature, connecting with friends and family, practicing generosity, listening to music, and creating space for silence and stillness in meditation.

And finally, the recognition that my spiritual health is the key to maintaining my physical and emotional health reminds me that I need to consistently plug into my Source (who I call God) and nurture that relationship.  This is now my Priority #1.

I'd love to hear what makes your list and what you identify as your top priority for keeping your batteries charged.  

Leave a comment below.

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7/25/2014 2 Comments

Finding the Courage to Care for Yourself:  Practical Self-Care

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I have spent the past 2 days in Asheville, NC with an amazing group of women (and a few progressive men) learning to build heart-centered businesses. 

Collectively, this group is changing the world, leading businesses based in their passion while creating a life of meaning and purpose.

And yet, a common theme emerged as we celebrated our successes and shared our challenges. We are giving so much, to so many, that we often forget to give to ourselves.  

Wow!  What a powerful realization.

The majority of women, myself included, are giving to and caring for others on a daily basis.  Whether at home or at work and everywhere in between, we seem to be hard-wired to serve and nurture those around us.

But, what about you?  Who takes care of you?

When do we take the time to give to ourselves what we so freely give to others?

We willingly come to someone else's aid but, so often we suffer alone in silence.  And, because we appear to be the “strong one”, “the helper”, people don’t often think that we need help too.

We feel like a child sometimes – we’ve lost our way home and we don’t know how or who to ask for help.

There is power in community and we draw strength from each other and from ourselves.

What is required is courage.  Derived from Latin, the root of the word means heart.  We need to move from our heads (thinking) to our hearts (feeling) to better understand what we really need.

It takes courage to ask for what you really need.  

It takes courage to ask for what you really want.

So where do you start?

Self-compassion.  Be gentle with yourself during times of challenge and chaos. Set an intention to speak kindly to yourself.  Send loving thoughts to yourself, even when your inner critic shows up.  Love is a proven way to silence fear. 

Appreciation.  The body has a miraculous capacity for healing when we get out of the way.  Take a moment to appreciate your body today – your vision, your mobility, your heart beat.  Notice what may be calling for your attention today and honor your body by giving it what it needs.

Breathe.  When stressed we tend to take shallow, quick breaths.  Simply being present with the natural rhythm of your breathing and feeling the breath is enough to activate the relaxation response.  Each day plan to take 5 minutes out of your day to just “breathe”.

Clarity.  When we are unclear about what is important in our lives, we make decisions that are not always in our best interest.  What nurtures you?  What gives rise to happiness?  What allows you to feel a sense of meaning and belonging?  Getting clear on the answers to these questions will help you set priorities based on what you need to regularly be your best self.

So while you’re out changing the world with the wonderful work that you do, remember to take care of you.

Let each breath remind you that you are supported, you are whole, you deserve to be nurtured, and you deserve to be free of suffering.  

How did you find the courage to take care of yourself today?  This week?  

If you found some value in this post, please share with others.  

And if you'd like a little guidance on taking care of you, download the 5 PEACE strategies workbook to reduce stress and find more peace in daily life, http://www.drmichellebailey.com/5-peace-strategies.html.  

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    Uplifting Women in Medicine
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    Dr. Michelle Bailey is a mom, physician, author, and coach.  She teaches Women in Medicine how to create simple systems to manage the busyness of life and carve out time for themselves so they can revive their energy and ease day to day stress.  Connect with Michelle in the Uplifting Women in Medicine private Facebook group for community and support.  Join here.

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