Are you leading your life or is life leading you?

Are you leading your life or is life leading you?  This was the question posed by my coach, Christine Kane at an intensive three day retreat.

Hmm...I'd never been asked that question before.  My mind automatically replied with, "of course you're leading your life; who else would?"  My heart responded, "everyone else will lead your life if you don't step up to do it."

Wow!  I didn't expect that and yet the thought stayed with me throughout the three days and beyond.  I realized that I had turned over the reigns to others long ago.  When was the last time that I felt like I was charting my own course?  There was no immediate answer.

Coach Kane urged us to - Be the C.E.O. of Y.O.U.!  But how?  

I've spent some time reflecting on this question since the retreat (I celebrated a birthday last week which prompted more active reflection too; milestones like this are a great time for reflection).  So, here I am looking at the road ahead and asking, "where do I want to go?"

Simply asking the question is empowering.  Here are 5 key elements I've found to help me figure out how to show up as the leader in my own life:

• I get to define success on my terms.  I'm less interested in how others define success these days.  For me, success is feeling vital and on purpose as I continue learning and growing on this journey called life.  I want to make a meaningful impact in my little corner of the garden by sharing my gifts and talents with the world.  How?   By focusing on the third metric of success - Thriving (Arianna Huffington's book, Thrive).  My emphasis this year is on well-being, wisdom, wonder and giving.
• When feeling uncertain, move from my head to my heart.  This has been one of the biggest lessons for me.  Understanding that inner wisdom doesn't originate in the brain but, rather in the heart.  Making space for stillness and silence and connecting to Spirit helps me to make this shift.  It cannot be forced.  It's a willingness to surrender and listen patiently for the guidance to come.
• Practice finding my voice.  Growing up I often heard, "children are meant to be seen, not heard."  This was an early message that was imprinted in my mind.  I also regularly witnessed domestic violence between my grandparents.  I saw what happened when my grandmother was not silent.  The message - using your voice isn't safe.  Now I am resetting the message.  Knowing and understanding that my voice communicates a unique perspective that is needed to bring about the change I'm seeking.  My voice connects me with others and builds community.
• Focus on being rather than doing.  There is so much busyness and so many distractions in our world today.  It is hard to unplug and simply allow time for being.  We have become a species of human doings rather than human beings.  I plan to focus my energy on how I'm showing up rather than what I'm accomplishing.  States of being I'm aiming for include patience, generosity, open-heartedness, and a strong sense of inner calm with more moments of ease throughout the day regardless of my external circumstances.  
• Making time to clearly see the vision for my life.   Clarity is an essential component of navigating life in a purposeful way.  How do I chart a course when I'm not clear on where I'm going?  Creating space for silence and stillness helps to get a clearer picture of where you are and what is calling you forward.  I plan to put together a vision board as a daily reminder motivating me to take the steps necessary to move forward towards my dreams.

You can step up from wherever you are to lead your life.  It takes courage and heart.  Find support.  Ask for help.  And most importantly, trust in your own ability to show up for your life.

Share one thing you plan to do to step into leading your life.  We'll hold space and cheer you on!

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