Rest: Why It's So Hard to Allow It and How to Get More of It

Tired and Busy. Are you feeling one or both?

October through December has traditionally been the busiest period of the year for me. The activities would change from year-to-year, but the resulting busyness (and associated fatigue) remained the same.

Like the year I was scheduled to present on the importance of physician self-care at 3 conferences - 2 national and 1 international - in a 6-week span while maintaining my clinical practice, family responsibilities, etc. (And no, the irony is not lost on me that I was promoting self-care while being over-committed and over-scheduled myself).

Since making the transition to a nonclinical position, maintaining a clinical practice has fallen away, but the tendency to overcommit is still present.

In reflecting on why, I find that there is a resistance to rest. It's as if someone forgot to add a "Rest Mode" switch and my internal default setting is stuck on "Busy Mode".

Although I tell myself that I want more space in my schedule...more breathing room...the "doing" feels more familiar than the "being".

I am craving rest, but it takes additional mental and emotional energy to change the habits that have previously led to an overpacked schedule of activities and commitments.

So, what helps to create new habits that allow rest? Here are a few of the tips I've been practicing to get more rest.

• Build in downtime each day that is for simply "being and recharging" and free of work. If you don't feel like you have the time, explore first thing in the morning before anyone else is up or 5-10 minutes in your car (even if that's in the garage at home).
  
  
• Observe what may be getting in the way of rest . This could be difficulty saying no to requests which results in over-committing, working to complete important tasks in the 11th hour before they're due, and/or staying up late at night to stream shows, watch videos or be on social media because you haven't had any time for yourself all day. Identify the obstacles and develop a plan to address each one.
  
  
• Commit to daily self-care. Taking care of your basic needs like hydration, nourishment, and movement can provide the energy needed to think clearly and come up with creative ways to carve out pockets of time for rest.
  
  
• Write and reflect on the question, "How can I drink while I pour?" What comes up for you? Don't edit the thoughts you notice in response to the question. You may discover unconscious beliefs you hold about rest. For me, growing up in a house with parents who worked blue-collar jobs, rest was equal to laziness. There was always something more to be done. The work never ended. Now that I'm aware of this belief, I can decide if I want to keep it or let it go. It's no longer serving me and so now I'm working to develop new beliefs that include the importance of rest.
  
  
• Set a reminder for brain breaks throughout the day. My youngest grandson started kindergarten this year. He was excited to show us the dance they do in class when they're taking one of their brain breaks during the day. This could be as little as 60 seconds to intentionally pause and allow your mind to rest. Move, close your eyes, look out of a window at the sky...anything that briefly suspends the mental activity.
  
  
• Set a cut-off time for work in the evening. We are hyper-connected to work...always reachable with easy access across several devices to ongoing messages that fill the inbox and in-basket. Establishing a time to cease work activities can help motivate you to finish up priority tasks and begin the mental and emotional transition to being home. If you find it's difficult to stop this activity at your designated time, notice what thoughts are preventing you from shutting it all down and ask yourself if the thoughts are true or are helping you to avoid something (feelings you don't want to feel, a conversation you don't want to have, etc.).
  
  
• Define rest for yourself. This can be very subjective and look different from person to person. For my wife, rest is going to a local cafe to read or learn something new. For me, rest is found in the silent and still moments of the early morning before the sun comes up. Don't compare your definition to anyone else's. There's no right or wrong here.

And here's a bonus tip: Write a personal vision for deep rest and explore how you can give yourself permission to have it.

Anne Lamott says, "When you rest, you catch your breath and it holds you up, like water wings..."

Take a break. Exhale audibly. Allow your breath to hold you up like water wings.

Tell me which of the tips spoke to you the most in the comments below.

And if you have a suggestion for what to add to the list, I'd love to hear it, Michelle@drmichellebailey.com.