Are you leading your life or is life leading you? This was the question posed by my coach, Christine Kane at an intensive three day retreat. Hmm...I'd never been asked that question before. My mind automatically replied with, "of course you're leading your life; who else would?" My heart responded, "everyone else will lead your life if you don't step up to do it." Wow! I didn't expect that and yet the thought stayed with me throughout the three days and beyond. I realized that I had turned over the reigns to others long ago. When was the last time that I felt like I was charting my own course? There was no immediate answer. Coach Kane urged us to - Be the C.E.O. of Y.O.U.! But how? I've spent some time reflecting on this question since the retreat (I celebrated a birthday last week which prompted more active reflection too; milestones like this are a great time for reflection). So, here I am looking at the road ahead and asking, "where do I want to go?" Simply asking the question is empowering. Here are 5 key elements I've found to help me figure out how to show up as the leader in my own life:
You can step up from wherever you are to lead your life. It takes courage and heart. Find support. Ask for help. And most importantly, trust in your own ability to show up for your life. Share one thing you plan to do to step into leading your life. We'll hold space and cheer you on!
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"Life has become too busy. I need to slow down." I heard myself silently repeat these words all too often throughout my week. Each time I said them, I acknowledged that something needed to change, yet nothing did. As I sat down for the umpteenth time to create a plan to better manage my time, I had a revelation. I am the common denominator throughout the periods of busyness. I realized I didn't need another time management system to learn. I needed to learn the art of self-management. While I said my intention was to slow down and create more space in my life, I continued to take on new projects, volunteer for tasks and committees, etc. The question I really needed to answer: "Why was I (sometimes unconsciously, sometimes not) keeping myself so busy?" As I reflected on this question in my meditation, I started to notice how uncomfortable I was with "down time". Even when there were no deadlines to meet, I found myself on my laptop checking email, researching ideas, and surfing the net. It would be one thing if this activity led to greater productivity and results; unfortunately, that wasn't generally the case. When I wasn't busy, there was a sense of dis-ease as difficult emotions emerged: sadness, loneliness, and disappointment just to name a few. Working had become a convenient excuse to avoid dealing with these feelings. Once I recognized and accepted this truth, I had a choice: continue to do things the way I always had and get the same results; OR do something different. I decided to do the latter. So, how do you both slow down AND manage the difficult emotions that arise?
It's important for you to open your heart and mind in this process. Be gentle with yourself. When you prioritize taking care of you, your life shifts in positive and unexpected ways. And you give others permission to do the same as you model being present for your life. This is the key to balancing your life. Your loved ones will thank you. Your future self will thank you. Leave a comment below and let me know what helps you to slow down. “I'm not a runner.” I can't remember how many times I've said that over the years. When someone would ask, do you run? I'd say, "Oh not me, I'm not a runner." Four days before Christmas 2012, when I found myself in the hospital being worked up for what we believed was a heart attack, I knew something needed to change. My amazing mentor and coach Christine Kane is constantly saying, "Consistent actions bring consistent results." I knew if I wanted to get fit and improve my heart health, I had to find a way to consistently move my body When I began looking for an exercise I could do consistently, I remembered hearing something about a program that could help you learn to run. A quick Google search pulled up “Couch to 5K.” This app is designed to get even the most sedentary person moving. It’s a graduated program that will have you running 30 consecutive minutes (3.1 miles) in just 9 weeks. Alternating between walking and running small distances, you gradually build your stamina (and confidence) over time. With just three work-outs per week it made it easier to incorporate into my busy schedule. So, I downloaded the app and threw caution to the wind. What did I have to lose? Just 9 weeks later, when I ran my first 5K, it was such an incredible high to cross the finish line. And to my surprise, my first thought was not, "What was my time? Where did I place?" In that moment, I experienced a feeling of pure joy as I thought, "I just ran a 5K. I am a runner!" I had shifted the paradigm and broken through the ceiling on a long held limiting belief. It made me wonder what other things I may be saying to myself that hold me back. What else have I thought was impossible that is really possible? I set an intention to become more aware of times when I hear myself make limiting statements. Here are three steps I've found helpful for breaking through limiting beliefs: 1. Question the belief. When you notice a limiting thought, ask the question, "Is that true?" Reflect back over your life and scan for evidence that refutes the belief. In my case, I remembered being one of the fastest kids in my neighborhood running to get home before the street lamps came on (for fear of greeting my dad at the door after curfew). In junior high, I convinced myself I wasn't a runner when I didn't perform well in cross-country. A simple reframe here is helpful: “I am a sprinter” instead of “I am not a (distance) runner.” 2. Imagine a different possibility. We are often unaware of how much we identify with our thoughts. Pay attention to the words you choose to follow the statement "I am." Are they empowering words (I am resourceful) or do they deflate you (I am broke)? Picture who you could become if that limiting thought wasn't true. What may be possible then? 3. Break it down. It can seem overwhelming to take on a large project like running a 5K, losing weight, or getting out of debt. Breaking the larger project down into smaller pieces helps shift your thoughts from "likely impossible" to "totally doable!” In week 1 of Couch to 5K, I thought, “Okay, I can run for 60 seconds. Then I can run for 90 seconds. And sure, now I think I can run for 3 minutes.” As I took each step forward it established a new normal. And, what became possible from that new set point shifted. The secret to all of this is growing an inner awareness of how your thoughts create your reality. Noticing when your thoughts limit your success is key in disarming the threats that generally lead to self-sabotage. Now I am a runner, and I've released 14 lbs. in the process. And if you're wondering what limiting belief I'll tackle next, it's this: Disproving the belief that I can't be a successful businesswoman. I've already taken several steps forward after putting the above steps in action. I've found that many of my limiting beliefs are shared by others. Recognizing this simple truth is empowering, as you realize you're not alone. What limiting belief will you take on today? Leave a comment below and let me know. Let's shatter some ceilings! |
Life Beyond Clinical Practice with Dr. Michelle Bailey
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Hi, I'm Dr. Michelle Bailey.
I help physicians who are unhappy or unsatisfied with their current career find a nonclinical career that they love. Retiring early from clinical practice after almost 20 years as a board-certified pediatrician I successfully made the leap and transitioned to a nonclinical career. I'm thriving in my new career and am on a mission to help other physicians do the same with the support, guidance, and community that I wish I had when I was struggling with this decision. You're invited to connect with me in my private Facebook community for physicians to learn about all things related to your nonclinical career transition. Join here. |
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